You may have noticed that I haven’t posted a review in a little while, and that is unfortunately true, but for what I hope to be a good reason.
You see, I have been a little bit frustrated with my Review format and ratings lately. It’s not that it doesn’t work, it’s just that it’s a bit bland. I find the star system especially unhelpful because everyone has a different idea of what different numbers of stars means. Yes, I provided a chart some time back to explain what the stars meant to me, but what use is that, if I don’t explain it every time I post a review.
To remedy this, I’ve decided to add a little bit of graphic flair to it all, and I’ve decided to completely rehaul my review rating system into a system that will have some similarities to the rating system that Jeremy Jahns uses on YouTube (go watch his videos, they are great!) So, below I will outline my slightly new format with graphics, and at the very bottom I will explain the new different ratings of my rating system.
I will always start out my reviews with an image to represent what I am reviewing, such as a movie poster, a title screen, some box art, something like that.
“The Plot Spot” is where I will give the premise of the book/movie/game. I will never include any spoilers here that hasn’t been given in the trailers or promotional media.
Here I will describe who the book/movie/game is for, or who it will appeal to. I will try to justify the fact that this is a whole section and not a footnote in the major text by being very thorough in my description of what makes this film enjoyable and what some people would really not like about it.
Like my current review already has, I will have a short summary of my opinions on the piece, and I will completely avoid specifics that might be considered spoilers.
After this, I will post my rating, which will come from my new rating system that I explain below. The rating I am including here is for reference, but I will explain it in detail below.
For a full explanation of my review system, please refer to my ratings explanation HERE!
Then I have a page break for those who want to access the deeper-levels of my review.
Again, like my current review format, “The Long Take” is where I dive a little deeper into what I think about the piece. I still avoid major plot spoilers, especially the ending, but I am more likely to talk about elements of the film that people could consider spoilers, depending on their sensitivity.
After this, I will actually continue to give the star rating here. I’m planning on doing this for two reasons. 1. I made the original graphics for the star system, and I like them and want to keep using them. 2. Some people will not like the new system, and so I want to give them something to continue to look forward to.
Whenever I want to comment on some aspect of the piece that is very definitely a spoiler, such as the ending, I will use this graphic before I talk about it. The things I talk about in this section affect the ratings, even if I don’t mention them explicitly in the rest of the review.
Ok, now to explain the new ratings! –
Starting at the very bottom of the rating system, “Scrub Out My Brain!!!” Is for anything that I find truly terrible and offensive. It might even make someone who watches it less of a person. Here’s hoping I never have to use this rating, as much as I like my graphic.
The next rating, “Garbage,” should speak for itself. Anything that gets this rating is just plain bad. What sets this a step up from “Scrub Out My Brain” is that I don’t hate myself afterward for having suffered through it – I reserve that for the subject of the review.
The next rating up is “Doing the Laundry,” which is to say it’s just no fun, and has very few good things about it. At least I didn’t purely hate it?
Hitting squarely in the middle of the table, the next rating up is “In & Out,” indicating that the book/movie/game flows into the brain and immediately right out of it. It’s forgettable, and not worth noting. It’s not a chore, or bad, or offensive – it might even be worth a waste of time, but there are many better things you could do with your time. I consider this a fairly neutral or “Meh” rating.
The next rating up is “The Bargain Bin.” In other words, it might be worth purchasing if you find it in the bargain bin. It’s the first solidly good rating on this list. I would not consider a “meh” film worth picking up, even if I found it super cheap, which is why this rating is better than “In & Out.”
The penultimate review is “I’ll Take it!” I mean this rating to have much the same value as Jeremy Jahns’ “It’s worth buying on Blu-Ray” rating. Since I go after media that I think I will like, I suspect this will be the rating I give out the most, which is why I’m not perfectly happy with the graphic. I might change this in the future, but for now this is meant to show something that I would be willing to pay meaningful money for to bring home and add to my libraries.
The final tier of rating is where things get a little complicated. For me, there are two different kinds of top rating. There could be a film that is incredibly fun, and which I love, but works on only a fun or spectacle level. The first Avengers film is like this for me. It doesn’t have anything “important to say,” but for me it is one of my favorite films. For this sort of film I will use the rating “Awesome!”
There are some films that excel for very different reasons, however. These films might say something important about the human experience, or makes you really think, or touches your heart, or brings some form of enlightenment, or pure sensual experience. “Schindler’s List” is one of these kinds of films. I would feel uncomfortable calling “Schindler’s List” awesome because of the subject matter, but I would feel good calling it “Brilliant!”
That’s it for my new reviews blog format and rating system. I hope you guys are looking forward to it! My upcoming reviews using the new system are “The Stanley Parable,” “Zootopia,” and “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies”
Until next time!